Acolyte Saga
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Remy and Pyro want to be Vikings and end up convincing a few others to go along as well.


**Acolyte Saga**

Piotr smiled as he leaned back in his stool while sitting at the kitchen counter. He had just finished eating a large batch of beef stroganoff he had made and was quite happy with the results. _Ah_, he sighed to himself and closed his eyes while absently patting his stomach. _That was very good. It is nice to have relaxing moments like this. So calm and peaceful and quiet..._

"Uuurraaaggghhh!" a ferocious cry rang throughout air and violently jolted him back to reality.

"Ahhh!" Piotr yelped and nearly fell off his stool. He barely managed to steady himself and glanced toward the open door. "What the...?"

"Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Remy and Pyro stormed into the room and proceeded to knock over anything that got in their way. Both of them were dressed like Vikings and equipped with weapons and large round shields.

"Garh, we've reached the larder. Break out the bread and mutton!" Pyro shouted stepping up to the counter while slinging his shield onto his back.

"Yah, what do we have here?" Remy threw open the refrigerator and rummaged inside. "Grrr, no mutton. What else is there...aha! Here we go!" He took out half a roast chicken and tossed it to Pyro.

"Got it!" Pyro caught the roast chicken and plopped it onto the counter. He then took out a large Danish axe and raised it over his head. "Yaaaahhhhhh!"

CRUNCH!

"Whoa!" Piotr shielded his face as chicken bits flew in every direction. "Watch out! That is very dangerous. Someone could have gotten hurt."

"Oops, sorry about that mate," Pyro apologized, having slipped out of his Norse persona and ripped off a leg from the decimated chicken. "Just got a little carried away there."

"Well at least give some warning before you go swinging that axe again," Piotr said as Pyro chowed down on the chicken. "What are you two doing anyway?"

"Can't you tell? We're Scandinavian warriors!" Pyro laughed around a mouthful of chicken. "Brave, adventurous souls rarin' to go a-viking and wreck havoc on our foes!"

"And make off with whatever loot we can find along the way," Remy added having taken out a gallon of apple cider and a trio of mugs. He set them on the counter and began to fill them up.

"You are Vikings?" Piotr blinked, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Yah," Pyro grinned as Remy slid a mug of cider over to him. "Mighty warriors out to raid, plunder and strike terror into the hearts of our enemies! Hahahahaha!"

"That's not all," Remy reminded him handing Piotr a mug. "Vikings were also great explorers, craftsmen, traders, and settlers. Plus they really knew how to party."

"And throw some of the best funerals ever," Pyro smiled happily. "Imagine being laid to rest in a big 'ol boat full of loot and having the whole bloody thing set on fire! Now that's the way to go! Wohoo!"

"But why are you dressed up like Vikings?" Piotr asked.

"Because it's fun," Pyro laughed and spat out a piece of chicken cartilage. "Think about it. Would you wanna go tick off a Viking?"

"You have a point there," Piotr admitted taking a sip of cider.

"I admit the Vikings did lack a certain amount of refinement and style," Remy gnawed on a loaf of bread. "But sometimes it's just nice to let loose and go wild."

"Yeah, like one of those berserkers," Pyro quaffed down his cider and slammed the empty mug on the counter. "A big, fierce wild-eyed lunatic with inhuman strength and rage out for blood, fighting on and on ignoring all bodily injuries and killing everyone in their way!"

"Wow, I wonder what one of them would look like?" Piotr thought.

"Hrroooaaarrr!" Sabertooth burst into the kitchen dressed in full Viking battle array and wielding an enormous two-handed battle axe. "Onward Viking soldiers! Prepare to sail off to war!"

"Huh?" Piotr gaped at him. "How in the world did you convince Sabertooth to dress up with you?"

"Are you kidding? He practically leapt at the chance to be a Viking," Pyro said.

"The fact he was singing Wagner's 'The Valkyrie_'_ at the time probably helped get him into the mood," Remy added.

"What are you all standing around for?" Sabertooth growled and motioned with his battle axe. "Come! The longship awaits!"

"Longship? You have a longship?" Piotr blinked.

"Yah, we do," Remy grinned proudly. "It's a perfect replica of a Viking _snekke_ with sail, oars, rigging, everything!"

""But where did you get it?" Piotr asked curiously.

"Uh, we made it," Remy replied smoothly.

"You did? That is incredible," Piotr was impressed.

"More like made off with it," Pyro giggled to himself.

"What did you say?" Piotr turned and glanced at him.

"Huh? Oh nothing, nothing at all," Pyro whistled innocently and toyed with his shield.

"Come on Piotr," Remy encouraged. "Join us. Embrace the Viking within you. Just go with the flow and have some fun."

"Yah!" Pyro laughed gleefully and ran out of the room. "Look out world! Beware the Viking fury!"

"Oh, why not?" Piotr gave in and followed his teammates out the door.

* * *

"It just figures," Magneto grumbled to himself as he walked down the hallway. "I waste twenty minutes searching for those fools for a training session and they're already in the Training Dome. Well, maybe they're finally starting to take things seriously and will stop acting like a bunch of stupid, ridiculous..." he trailed off as he reached the control booth and looked down in shock.

"Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Pyro whooped insanely as he and the other Acolytes stood onboard a full blown Viking longship in the middle of a completely flooded Training Dome.

"Raaauuuggghhh!" Sabertooth roared gleefully while hoisting his battle axe over his head in triumph.

"Arise men, arise!" Remy stood in the bow and dramatically held out his sword. "Let everyone beware! The Vikings are on the move!"

"Yah!" Piotr stood next to the mast with a large spear in one hand and a highly decorated shield in the other. He pounded his spear against the tough wooden deck. "Vikings forever!"

"Yah!" Pyro echoed happily and waved his axe in the air. "_Mine eyes have seen the glory of the mighty Viking lords! They are trampling out the vineyards where the grapes of wrath are stored! They have loosed the fateful lightning of their terrible swift swords! The Vikings are marching on!_"

"What in the world?" Magneto's jaw nearly reached the floor as he stared at the bizarre sight.

"_Glory, glory, hallelujah!_" The Acolytes danced around wildly and bellowed out at the top of their lungs. "_Lordy, how we'll stick it to ya! Glory, glory, hallelujah! The Vikings are marching on!_"

"That's it! I don't believe this!" Magneto stomped out of the control booth and made his way towards the main entrance to the Training Dome. "I don't know what's gotten into those idiots this time but it is going to stop now!" he muttered to himself as he reached the entranceway and threw open the large doors.

Unfortunately, Magneto hadn't realized that neither the water nor the longship were part of a holographic simulation.

WWHHOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!

"AAAHHHHHH!" Magneto yelled as a tidal wave of water knocked him off his feet and carried him away.

"_We jumped aboard our longships and we sailed upon the seas!_" The Acolytes sang merrily as they rode down the hallway. "_And we slaughtered all who fought us and we did just as we pleased! 'Cause we're crazy Viking warriors and we never ask for peace! The Vikings are marching on!_"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Magneto yelped as he tried to stay afloat right before being smacked by the prow of the longship and run over. "(Glub!) (Glub!) Gahhh! Oh, from the insanity of these lunatics someone please deliver me!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution. The song based on "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" is from the book series Everworld.**


End file.
